Amari Cooper of District 6 was still stunned. As soon as he woke up and the soft light illuminated the room with a warm glow, however, he knew he was dead. He wasn't sure how he was conscious, but he was dead. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath to keep away tears. He felt absolutely horrible. How could he have done this to his friends and family back home? He was going to win for Karima, and for Billie, and... There was so much riding on this.
When he managed to get to his feet, he realized he had wings. They weren't like the fake pieces of PVC pipe he and Kyle used to try and attach to their backs. No, these were real, honest-to-god, warm, soft, feathery wings.
Amari's first thought was, quite simply, I don't deserve to be here. That was the most confusing part of it all. He wasn't sure what he might have done to deserve this... This peace. This calm feeling. This warmth. He didn't know, but he was glad he did it.
Amari walked slowly out of the room. He really wanted to try out the wings, but figured that he would save that until a better day when he wasn't feeling so down. He missed Kyle and Lydia already, even his parents. They were all thinking about him, too, which made the moment even more bittersweet. He saw Billie first, but looked away from her. After everything she had been screaming at him in the Arena, he couldn't face her. Maybe she didn't really think those things. But maybe she did. After all, Amari and Lydia had made fun of her even before the reaping began and they were both shipped off to that mess.
Amari moved his thoughts away from that and to the present. The ground under his feet was soft and he felt no discomfort or pain. He felt light as a feather, like nothing would ever weigh him down again. He wasn't hungry or thirsty, and he wasn't anxious or afraid. Not anymore.
He was startled when he saw a figure dashing towards him, as quick and agile as a bunny. He was surprised when Karima fluttered towards him, practically gliding with her wings, and spun him around in a tight, off-the-ground hug.
"Woah! Hey Karima!" he tried not to sound surprised. After all, they had been allies. He just felt bad for how he treated her through everything, really. He hadn't kept a good enough eye on her and she ended up dying because he wasn't awake when she left. He didn't really want to think about the black and white and moral gray area, so he focused on reuniting with his friend instead.
"Amari," she said quietly, her voice quivering slightly.
"Don't cry," he said quietly. If she was going to he might just cry in sympathy, and he wouldn't want that.
"Sorry," she squeaked quietly, burying her face in his neck.
"I'm sorry. I really wanted to win for you. For everyone."
"I know," she said, trying to keep her voice steady and not succeeding very well. "It's okay. We're here now."
Amari blinked away some tears, but when he heard Karima sobbing into his neck he broke and they started to drip out of his eyes and down his cheeks. The allies, friends, and youngest tributes of the Games stayed there like that for a good while.
Somewhere, deep down, they knew that they had to let out the sorrow and misery before the process of healing could truly begin.
~.~.
District 11's Edgard Lowell kept his eyes closed.
So it really was true. He was the first of his allies to die.
It didn't matter. Well, of course it mattered, but Edgard was used to downplaying what he was feeling. Somehow, he knew that he wouldn't be able to do that any longer.
He didn't want Kendal to think it was his fault. Raoul was more rational and more Games-minded, he would eventually get over it. Well, as much as you could get over it in an Arena like the hell they had lived through, that is.
Kendal, though, would feel sorry. Edgard was sure of it. He didn't want him to be sorry, though. All this time Edgard had been so confused, searching for his purpose in life, trying to find where he fit, and he had found it. Somewhere within the chaos of confronting the Careers, Edgard had decided that maybe his purpose wasn't something he would figure out in a couple years. Maybe his purpose had been laid out before him his entire life, and now was the critical moment. His purpose was to give his allies another chance. And he'd served that purpose in full.
He felt peace more than anything. Sure, Kayla and Mich were missing him, but they had each other. His parents missed him, but they had each other. Kendal and Raoul were one step closer to making it home, and Edgard was rooting for them the entire way.
So, why be sad? Edgard felt free from the chains of his worry about who he was. He had a better idea now, now that he'd sacrificed himself for his friends. He stood up and was about to step into a new world when he heard the whimpering of a boy who had just lost everything he had ever wanted.
~.~.
District 1's Callum Ainsworth hated himself.
Even the anger he felt was subdued. He couldn't be mad. He felt so fragile, like he would break if he was nudged the wrong way, that he would crash into a million pieces.
How could he have been so stupid?
It was the rashest decision he'd ever made. How was he supposed to be peaceful about it? He never should have gone into the Games, and he'd realized it too late. He still wasn't exactly sure who killed him, it was kind of a blur, but he didn't care. He was the first of the Careers pack to die. At least it wasn't in the bloodbath, he tried to convince himself. He would have absolutely been the laughing stock of the District if he'd died in the bloodbath. What a legacy that would have been.
Maybe he should've just let Gravity go into the Games like he was supposed to. Maybe he should have stayed with his friends and grandparents. Even if that's what he should have done, he couldn't change it now. He couldn't change te fact that Amory and Niss were probably mad as hell at him and he couldn't do anything about it. Who would take care of his grandparents? He didn't want them to join him too soon.
They were thinking about him. All of them. It was a bittersweet sensation that was both warming and painful at the same time. He let them down. He let them all down. He would fade away into nothing just like the rest of the mediocre District 1 boys that went into the Games. Gravity was amazing, he would have taken the win for sure. Callum had failed. He wasn't anything great, he wasn't strong like the rest of them, he wasn't like them. He wasn't better than them. He was just so average.
And that stung. It stung a lot. The realization that everything he'd wanted was for absolutely nothing. He couldn't change anything now. He was stuck here, away from them. He was useless.
"Are you okay?"
Callum jumped, shattering as he looked up at the boy from 11, the boy that was killed by Callum's alliance. He stared at him, so Edgard repeated the question.
"We're dead!" Callum said. Tears traced their way down his cheeks. "Can't you see that?"
"Of course I can. But I can't change that now. Why worry about it?"
"Because, we left them!! We left them all!"
"I know. It's hard. But that's the purpose we were meant to serve."
"Purpose?"
"I died to give my allies a second chance."
"I didn't. I was..." Callum thought back. He was in so much pain, fighting to hang onto life when it happened. "I was killed in cold blood."
Edgard sat down next to the 1 boy and wrapped him up in his warm, feathery wings. "But you volunteered for that guy."
"He would have won," Callum said miserably. "He was the selected volunteer."
"Well, now he has a chance to do something else. A second chance. Because of you."
Callum felt much calmer, but still just as upset. He cried quietly into his knees, enjoying the comfort of Edgard, wrapped around him like a blanket.
"He won't take it," Callum sniffled. "I dishonored him."
"Maybe he will. He has to get back up on his feet someday."
Callum didn't know what to say to that and was too tired to retort, so he stayed there, curled up, crying quietly. He expected Edgard to decide it was pointless and leave, but the 11 boy stayed with him patiently.
Callum was quiet for a while before Edgard stood up and brought him slowly to his feet.
"There's a new world out there just waiting for us," Edgard said gentle. "Let's see what it has in store."
Callum swallowed hard and nodded. "Yeah. Let's go."
Together, they stepped outside into the great behind, leaving their past sorrows, pain, and confusion behind.
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